Halloween & Bonfire Night

“The nights are drawing in and we're moving towards Halloween and Bonfire night two highlights of those darker nights.

For many of us these are a lovely time, bundled up in warm clothes, the excitement of trick or treating with friends and family, and the wonder of watching Fireworks. However, for some of our children those things are far from exciting and can be overwhelming and distressing.  Preparing our children for those out of the ordinary events can be key to making things a bit easier for all of us.  

Letting children know that these dates are coming up and involving them in what they feel they would like to be part of can be a gentle starter.  A calendar with a countdown will work for some so they know what's coming and what to expect.  There are lots of things to consider not least would they like a costume for Halloween?  Often costumes are fabrics they might typically shy away from but the desire to take part can be strong.  Perhaps talking about what could be worn underneath - or how much of a costume would be ok, perhaps just the top of an outfit with some comfy joggers. At the end of the day, it's meant to be fun and if costumes aren't that's ok too.   Face masks can be terrifying so talking about those early can really help.  Social stories are one way that we can help our children and young people, and these can be personalised with photos.  We found this one free Halloween Social Story – Little Puddins to give you some ideas.

Halloween can be a sensory minefield.  Some of our children will delight in things like face painting, unusual foods, odd sounds and games like bobbing for apples.  If that's not for you and your family it can be a good time to think about alternatives, a cosy evening at home with a familiar and safe meal, movie or book can be just what's needed.  Little ones might enjoy Room on the Broom, either the book or animation.  If your child is new to face paint, they may well want to try but it's worth being prepared with a pack of wipes or something to clean it off if the feel of it becomes overwhelming.  Messy play with spaghetti as wiggly worms or making jelly with things to dig out can be great for sensory play.

Some of the local support groups will be offering low key party events over the coming weeks so it's worth checking with any groups you attend regularly as they may book up quickly.  We'll be sharing details of those we know about on the Gloucestershire Parent Carer Forum Facebook page.

There are lots of uncertainties around people coming to the door for Halloween.  Who will come, when, what will they be wearing, will they be noisy?  So many things to consider.  Some families choose to go public and put a poster in the window to let others know that they are welcome, but you'd like them to knock quietly or perhaps help themselves to the treats you've left by the door.  If your child wants to go out but finds it hard talking to strangers perhaps considering a small card that they could hand over.  There are some lovely templates on the internet, and we've got a few we'll be sharing on our website and Facebook page.

Looking ahead to Bonfire night the biggest trigger might be the fireworks.  It can be a lovely evening for cosying up at home with hot chocolate and lots of reassurance.  Sensory activities can be a good way of coming together as a family, perhaps involving siblings, to make firework pictures.  Black paper and chalks can be used to create fire work pictures or perhaps some food colour in water can be blown over paper with a straw.  

If you'd like to go to an organised event have a look on local sites, like You're Welcome to see what other families are saying about accessibility.  If your child or young person is a wheelchair user, how easy is it to park, how busy is it likely to be, can you get to where you need to, will you actually be somewhere you can see the display?  Some schools put on displays which can be helpful for children as the setting is familiar and they might feel more able to join in.  For those who want to be involved but don't like the loud noises ear defenders of headphones can help.  Weighted blankets can do double duty for these events, you get the benefits of the sensory input and some extra warmth! In our house we've watched small family displays of quieter fireworks from behind closed doors or windows so we can enjoy the sights without the smells and noises, and we've watched from a parked car up a hill!  We've even watched previous years displays on YouTube.  Social stories can be a helpful way to explain what to expect and decide together what you'd like to try as a family.  It's about what works for you so try not to feel pressured to do things you don't want to or that you know will be difficult for you.  

Whatever you and your family do we hope you enjoy your time together.  Events like these can be a good opportunity to talk about different aspects of safety with your children and young people.  Halloween is the one time of year we might allow them to take sweets from a stranger and that can be confusing!  A reminder that you or a trusted adult will be with them is important.  For firework night we need to be mindful of all the warnings about not rushing towards fireworks and to be honest sparklers have never been my thing!

 If you'd like to share your ideas of what works, please do on our Discussion group.  We'd love to know so other families can try things that might work for them too.”

Thank you,

Helen Bond, Gloucestershire Parent Carer Forum

Back to newsletter