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Concern for family or friends

If you think someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse in their relationship, then you can help them identify support, seek support on their behalf where appropriate and let them know that you are available to speak to when they are ready.

They may not be able to tell you they are being abused (they might not even recognise it themselves), but these are some signs that you can look out for:

  • Physical signs of bruising or injury - they may choose unseasonable clothing to hide injuries e.g., long sleeves in hot weather.
  • Low self-esteem, they may appear lonely or sad.
  • Reluctant to make social relationships with colleagues.
  • Strict about when they can start or end work, appearing inflexible to stay late or attend social events.
  • Are dropped off or picked up by their partner - they may say their partner will be angry if they are late.
  • Seem un-ambitious or have lack personal motivation.
  • Have lack of money or unable to make decisions about money without checking ‘at home’.

Women’s Aid provides detailed advice on how to support a person experiencing domestic abuse. Please visit their website using the button below:

Women’s Aid

Gloucestershire Domestic Abuse Support Service (GDASS) provides advice on how to recognise the signs of domestic abuse. Please visit their website by clicking on the button below:

GDASS Website

A summary of how to support someone who you believe is experiencing domestic abuse is below:

  • Listen and use supportive language
  • Acknowledge their experience
  • Support them in sharing their experience
  • Support them in seeking help.
  • Take care of yourself.

Why won’t they leave?

One of the most common questions that is asked is why a person who is experiencing domestic abuse doesn’t just leave the relationship. There can be many reasons, which include (but are not limited to):

  • Safety: the risk for serious harm in domestic abuse increases when a relationship ends. A person might not feel safe to leave because they know it will make it more dangerous for them and their family
  • Lack of self-confidence: believing it is their fault, and they deserve abuse
  • Denial
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Financial dependence
  • Loyalty
  • Hope
  • Lack of support
  • Pressure
  • Religious/community beliefs
  • Love
  • Intimidation
  • Gender roles
  • Immigration status
  • Fear of losing their children due to social services involvement

 

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