Every Day is Different

Everyday is different, uniquely challenging and rewarding. 

Some days are hard, testing of your resolve.

Some days are joyful and fill your cup.

This is Fostering…

When I tried to think of the everyday experiences of fostering it was hard to decide how best to explain it, but I think it falls into several categories, each one a vital component of fostering. Every child and young person has different needs so fostering looks different to every carer and to every child in care. Fostering babies through to teens requires different skills and approaches. What doesn’t change is the desire to care, to support, to provide safety, security and a positive change for young people in care. 

Not all skills are needed every hour of every day, but none are skills that are rested for too long and a week may contain a variety of skills being required. We have welcomed children from a few days old to our home. These are a few of the skills we have come to understand as important in our week. 

Meeting our young persons needs required a lot of empathy today

Family time helps build relationships with the child's family that ensure you are working together for the benefit of the child. Finding common ground in the care of their child, finding out about them and their lives so you can better care for the child and help them understand their identity and story. Being able to accommodate and make space for them in the process and ensuring their voices inform your care. 

Today required a lot of resilience

Fostering is intensive and requires personal fortitude and an ability to balance your time and manage competing priorities. Some days are spent in many meetings with different professionals that surround the child, all ensuring the right decisions are made at the right time. Some days are spent with the birth families helping them to build connections that promote positive attachments. No two days are the same and you are challenged in new ways all of the time. Days are often busy and require you to show up as fully as you are able for the child, whilst managing work, family, friends, the list goes on.

 We needed to advocate for our young person today

There can be a lot of noise surrounding a child in care, the many professionals involved in the placement from start to finish, and the birth family and wider personal circles. As a foster carer we need to cut through this noise to be able to concentrate on the individual child we are caring for. We see them the most so we have the best perspective on their needs and how to ensure their voices are heard. This may be spotting medical problems, or developmental and educational needs to ensure the right care and resources are available to the child as soon as possible. It could be understanding what their behaviours are telling us that they often can’t find, or don’t have a way to communicate.

 Today we needed to communicate and listen effectively.

Effective communication and listening help create a nurturing and supportive environment. They help us understand the young person's needs and emotions, helping us to act appropriately and build trust. By modelling these behaviours we are able to help inform the young person's understanding of the importance of these skills themselves, furthering their social development. These skills are also crucial in our own relationships, between us and other carers, professionals, and our friends and family. Fostering does not happen in isolation and requires many voices and opinions to be heard. 

Flexibility and adaptability was required from us today. 

Some days run as expected and plans go the way you imagined and other days seem like they go sideways almost as soon as you wake up. Being able to be flexible in your approach is key, and understanding that perfect isn’t the goal really helps. It could be something such as an emergency placement, where a young person needs a safe home in the middle of the night, or a child not being able to attend their place of education. Best laid plans and all that…being able to pivot and remain flexible in your approach are vital. 

Some positivity was required today.

When not everything goes to plan, being positive is important. Being able to write in a young person's records about times that are not always positive in language that cares. Being able to be balanced and respectful when talking about things and people in their lives. Being able to focus on the positive, at times that feel heavy, really support young people in your care. Being able to talk about things that negatively impact you in constructive ways, to bring about positive outcomes really does make a difference in the day to day.  

Safety was our concern today, we ensured our safeguarding training was up to date to ensure we could support our young person.

Safeguarding is a primary role for a foster carer. Noticing when something isn’t right and determining if it is a safeguarding concern is a skill developed in practice. Ensuring your training is current is the first step to ensuring you are able to fulfill this need. There is lots of relevant training to be undertaken and refreshed throughout your time as a foster carer.