Father Christmas

Most of you won’t know that when it comes to Christmas, Father Christmas has to do things differently for the children in my care. Of course he still brings all the presents and every child is treated to something they really want, but I’ve got a special arrangement with him. The children in my care know he will go out of his way to make them feel comfortable about bringing presents, and he’s not disappointed me yet!

The thought of a man in a hooded outfit coming into bedrooms, even if he is jolly and leaves gifts, can be very frightening for my children. We make our porch inviting for Father Christmas so that he can leave presents there. We still give him mince pies and brandy, but he can’t come in and use the toilet unfortunately. We put our stockings out and read stories in the lounge. Bed time is calm and as gentle as possible even with all the excitement. 

Once our children are in bed Father Christmas does a quick run out to our house to drop presents. When they’ve arrived I let the children know they’re here and that I’ll put them under the tree. For us that helps with needing to watch out all night in case someone strange comes. 

Some of the children have had terrifying experiences and often they are fearful of change, no matter how exciting that might be to everyone else. The run up to Christmas has already been a fun but stressful term at school, full of constant change and new experiences. Change means there’s a lot more to watch out for and it’s frightening and exhausting to track. By the time Christmas comes, we can often be an exhausted group of slightly bedraggled parents and more than slightly hyper children. Anyone recognise this? We have to do everything we can to help them to cope and enjoy this time of year. It’s magical and fun, but magic and fun bring uncertainty, and uncertainty brings the fear of things going wrong. 

Our children can struggle with the unknown so sometimes Father Christmas will let me show the children their presents before the big day. That way there are no big surprises and the anxiety will lessen for a time. It also means we can confidently tell the person in Tesco who asked them if they’re on the Good List, that they most certainly are! Even if there is still some lingering doubt in their minds. 

I try so hard to be a reliable adult, and Christmas can shake that certainty in a child’s mind. Foster carers use every resource they have at their disposal to reassure children and make sure they can relax enough to enjoy the magic. For me, that’s my special relationship with Father Christmas. Ask him. He might help you out too?

From everyone here at Gloucestershire Fostering, we wish you a wonderful festive season and a bright New Year - Who knows, perhaps this is the start of your very own fostering journey?